Softeners
Words that take the edge off: downplaying, hedging an action, and softening a request.
betsu ni
not particularly; not really; it's not that...
別に べつに
Denies something the listener might assume ('it's not that...'), usually with a negative (betsu ni okotte nai, betsu ni mondai nai). betsu ni ii yo / betsu ni ii kedo means 'I don't mind' but can sound grudging, and a bare 'betsu ni.' is a curt 'whatever'.
betsu ni okotte nai yo.
I'm not mad or anything.
別に怒ってないよ。
betsu ni okotte nai desu yo.
I'm not upset or anything.
別に怒ってないですよ。
A bare 'betsu ni.' as a reply sounds cold; say toku ni nai instead. Exceptions to the negative rule: betsu ni ii (I don't mind) and the bare curt reply.
toku ni
especially; (not) particularly
特に とくに
Singles one thing out (toku ni kore ga suki), and with a negative it is the neutral, polite-safe 'nothing in particular'.
toku ni mondai nai yo.
No problems in particular.
特に問題ないよ。
toku ni mondai nai desu yo.
No problems in particular.
特に問題ないですよ。
toku ni nai (desu) is the safe answer to 'any questions?'.
Learn alongside: betsu ni
ichiou
just in case; sort of
一応 いちおう
Hedges an action done to be safe (ichiou kakunin suru) or a claim that is only technically true (ichiou dekita).
ichiou kasa motteku.
I'll take an umbrella just in case.
一応傘持ってく。
ichiou kasa motte ikimasu.
I'll take an umbrella just in case.
一応傘持っていきます。
It also works as modesty: ichiou eigo hanaseru = I speak English, sort of.
dekireba
if possible
できれば
Goes at the front of a request or preference and softens it by making it conditional.
dekireba ashita ga ii na.
I'd prefer tomorrow, if possible.
できれば明日がいいな。
dekireba ashita ga ii n desu kedo.
I'd prefer tomorrow, if possible.
できれば明日がいいんですけど。
Literally 'if it can be done': dekiru + -ba.