Thanks, sorry, please
The everyday politeness formulas for thanking, apologising, asking and offering, plus kochira koso, which hands thanks or an apology straight back.
arigatou
polite arigatou gozaimasuthanks
ありがとう ありがとうございます
Thanks anyone for anything. Add gozaimasu for strangers, coworkers and anyone older.
arigatou, honto ni tasukatta.
Thanks, that really helped.
ありがとう、ほんとに助かった。
arigatou gozaimasu, hontou ni tasukarimashita.
Thank you, that was a real help.
ありがとうございます、本当に助かりました。
The past form arigatou gozaimashita thanks someone for something that's finished, like a meal or a lesson.
gomen
polite sumimasensorry
ごめん すみません
Apologises to friends and family for anything from bumping into them to turning them down; 'gomen ne' is softer.
gomen, osoku natta!
Sorry I'm late!
ごめん、遅くなった！
sumimasen, osoku narimashita.
Sorry I'm late.
すみません、遅くなりました。
gomen nasai is the earnest middle step: stronger than gomen, less formal than sumimasen.
Learn alongside: sumimasen
sumimasen
excuse me / sorry / thanks
すみません
Gets a stranger's attention, apologises politely, and thanks someone who went to trouble for you.
a, wazawaza sumimasen.
Oh, thanks for going to all that trouble.
あ、わざわざすみません。
sumimasen, kore ikura desu ka?
Excuse me, how much is this?
すみません、これいくらですか？
Often pronounced suimasen. Already polite: with friends say gomen to apologise, arigatou to thank, and nee to get attention.
Learn alongside: gomen
onegai
polite onegai shimasuplease (I'm asking)
お願い おねがい お願いします
Turns any noun into a request ('mizu, onegai') or seals an ask. Said on its own to friends, it's a pleading 'please!'.
gomen, kore onegai.
Sorry, can you take care of this?
ごめん、これお願い。
sumimasen, kore onegai shimasu.
Excuse me, could you take care of this?
すみません、これお願いします。
In shops, 'X o onegai shimasu' is the safe all-purpose way to order.
Learn alongside: douzo
douzo
go ahead, here you go
どうぞ
Offers something, hands it over, or lets someone go first. It's the same in both registers.
hai, kore douzo.
Here you go.
はい、これどうぞ。
hai, kochira douzo.
Here you are.
はい、こちらどうぞ。
It offers or invites; to ask for something, use onegai (douzo yoroshiku is the set phrase where it softens a request).
Learn alongside: onegai
kochira koso
likewise; no, thank YOU
こちらこそ
Returns whatever the other person just said, whether thanks, an apology or yoroshiku, and is usually followed by that same word.
kochira koso, arigatou ne.
No, thank YOU.
こちらこそ、ありがとうね。
kochira koso, arigatou gozaimasu.
No, thank YOU.
こちらこそ、ありがとうございます。
Friends also say kotchi koso. To yoroshiku, answer kochira koso yoroshiku (onegai shimasu). It isn't 'me too': to say you feel or do the same, use watashi mo.